a bariatric fairy tale :-)

[mymary0913]

The Queen and the Butterfly:
A Bariatric Fairytale
by Katie Jay, MSW, Certified Wellness Coach
Director, NAWLS
www.nawls.com

Once upon a time, there was a queen of bariatric
bliss (QBB) who wanted to know every possible
reason an obese person who had weight loss surgery
would *not* lose to goal -- or would regain after
losing.

The QBB wanted to know because a lot of people were
asking her, "What's wrong with me, your majesty?
Do you think it's even possible for me stop eating
emotionally? Why am I sabotaging myself? Why do I
eat when I don't want to?"

Being a "foodie" herself, this wise and compassionate
QBB understood these questions, because ... in truth
... when she looked in the mirror, she asked herself
the same questions.

Feeling desperate for an answer (for both herself
and her subjects), the QBB searched high and low for
clues that would unravel the mystery of mastering
obesity.

She read every book she could find on the subject,
talked to countless other QBBs and KBBs from
neighboring lands, and even trekked to the Far East
(near the beach in North Carolina) to find the
solution to the mystery.

But the answer continued to elude her.

Until one day, as she sat in the garden on a velvet-
cushioned bench, sipping her royal peppermint tea,
the answer fluttered down and landed on her shoulder.

A brilliant monarch butterfly (BMB) whispered the
answer into her right ear. The whisper felt like a
warm, lilac breeze, and could have come only from a
fairy.

"It's not about the food," the fairy's voice insisted,
as she flickered her wings. "It's about your attachment
to the food."

"I don't understand," exclaimed the QBB. "I am
obsessed with food. It's practically all I think
about. Especially chocolate! How can you say it's
not about the food."

"Surely you know that what makes you suffer is your
*desire* for food, not the food itself," the BMB's
voice was but a wisp of air. "Chocolate doesn't make
you suffer. Your desperate longing for chocolate is
why you suffer."

The QBB quipped, "Even if that's true, how can I
NOT desperately long for chocolate?"

"It's not about the chocolate," the winged creature
reminded.

"Then what is it about?" pleaded the QBB.

"Why, the desperate longing, of course," giggled
the colorful insect. "Where does that longing come
from?"

The QBB crossed her arms and lifted her chin in
defiance (although her lower lip was trembling),
"I don't want to think about that."

"That is why you obsess about chocolate," said the
BMB. "When your emotional pattern is to desperately
long for something, chocolate is a pleasant choice.
But if it weren't chocolate, it'd be something else."

"I see," said the QBB. "But I don't like that
feeling -- that feeling of desperate longing. It's
yucky...it hurts...and it scares me to think about
it."

"Well," said the winged creature, as a light breeze
picked up, "it seems to me you have two choices."

"Two choices," repeated the QBB, with a hint of
hope in her voice.

"Yes, two choices. You can either continue to
desperately long for chocolate, and deal with all
the drama associated with that, or you can bravely
fly toward the pain."

The QBB shot up, bumping the butterfly into the
air, and blurted out, "Why in the world would I
want to do that? Fly toward the pain? That's insane!"

The butterfly then inquired, "Hasn't anyone ever
told you, 'The only true way out of your pain is
to go through it?'"

"The only way out is through," the QBB repeated.
"Yes, I've heard that. But how do I go through my
pain?"

"Gently and persistently," explained the BMB. "With
courage and lots of support."

The QBB collapsed on the bench. "I don't know if I
can do that."

"I like these words from Gandhi," mused the
butterfly.

"Gandhi!? Don't tell me you can read as well
as talk!" exclaimed the QBB in disbelief.

"Oh, no," twittered the beautiful bug. "I once
rode on his shoulder, long ago."

"So what did he say?" demanded the QBB.

"You must be the change you want to see in the
world."

"I never looked at it quite that way," muttered the
QBB, in deep reflection. "But I see your point. If
we all do that, if we all are the change we want to
see in the world, a lot of healing could happen...."

"You've got it!" The creature fluttered her wings
and caught the breeze, and she drifted gracefully
into the distance.

"Where are you going?" called the QBB. "How do I
'Be the Change'?"

"Accept your feelings," called the monarch. "That
will encourage others to do the same!"

And then the winged beauty breathed a final message,
which floated gently back to QBB, "Remember, it's
not about the chocolate!"

*********************************************************

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